Why is Forgiveness so Difficult?


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Well I do not consider myself to be a super religious person, I do follow the teachings of one of the greatest teachers ever.  That taught me after many years of study, 2 basic things.  Those things are to Love One Another and the other is to Forgive.  Now this sounds like a really easy thing to do.  I mean who doesn’t love puppies?  And who can always forgive their kid when they put your new lipstick over their beautiful face?  Of course those are the easy things to love and forgive.

But what about when someone you don’t really know hurts you or if it’s the same person over and over.  It can even be that really annoying co-worker.  That’s a book in and of itself.  But one thing to realize about people that hurt others is that they have been hurt before. We are all walking around with some wounds and some have worked on healing them and others are right in the midst of their pain.

Interpersonal relationships can often be the most painful because you have trusted that person and then you get burned.  The teachings come in and the thought of forgiving someone doesn’t seem so easy.  Family tends to hurt those nearest and dearest to them.   Many give those they love chance after chance after chance in a destructive cycle.

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Maybe out of a need of self-preservation, it’s time to just walk away from something that seems like it’s going to be painful or bring up too many issues.  One thing that is truly healing to the soul is to forgive that person.  It actually frees the person doing the forgiving from carrying around that extra baggage of resentment and hurt.  But it can be challenging to forgive and many times it can be easier to just cut your losses and move on.

At some point, if you continue to cut people out of your life, you will start to see patterns of how you cut people out and maybe begin to feel isolated.

Other times you can realize that this person did not intend to do harm but they were simply going through some form of pain (real or imagined) and at any given time, they were functioning in the best way they knew how which obviously wasn’t very good.  But if you can have compassion for that person and know that they were going through a difficult time and forgive them, then you have a better chance of having peace in your heart and that, my dear, is the ultimate goal:  to have peace.

Peace is priceless and it doesn’t cost anything but is super powerful.  Know that all good things come together for a higher purpose.  Things happen so that you will learn the lesson.  So every person in your life is your own personal teacher trying to teach you love and compassion.  Try giving them a little love and watch the amazing, beautiful things that begin happen.

Valerie is a Health and Wellness Coach.  She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her daughter and puppy.  She enjoys friends, singing, dancing, yoga, healthy food and a healthy Mother Earth.  Wishing you a beautiful day where ever you are.  


Please leave a comment and let me know how you’re doing.  Just say hi.  It’s easy.


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