Friends, Lovers, Fake Friends and Haters

This is my mom and she’s definitely a LOVER.

In this time in history it can become evident that not everyone is your friend and not everyone is a hater either. Sometimes it’s very confusing when people that are “friends” on social media don’t act like “friends.” They are actually haters and some are actually lovers. How can you tell what’s what? Well it does take time, attention and A LOT of intuition. This is my spin.

What’s A Friend?

This is Amber. She’s my friend.

A friend is someone that is there for you to have fun. You hang out or talk and just laugh and have fun. You can be friends in real life or on social media. You like the same stupid stuff. You have similar sense of humor and you just genuinely like this person. If they need anything, you try to be there for them and they are there for you too. It’s just a great feeling to have a friend and you know in your heart that you like them. These are your peeps. They are cool and you give them the thumbs up frequently.

Got a Lover?

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Now my definition of lover is someone that loves you. It doesn’t mean you are physically intimate but it’s like a family love. Yes you might get mad and slam the door on them or lock them out of the house for a time out but you still love this person. You would be there for them at 2 AM to hold their head while they puke. You would kill a spider for them. You would go to the drug store for this person. You might get on each others nerves often but you still LOVE EACHOTHER. It can be a romantic relationship but not necessarily. Do you understand? I think so.

Fake Friends can take a long walk off short pier

What’s a fake friend? This is the person that you run into at the grocery store. You say hello, maybe your kids are in school together or they can be family too. They smile to your face and then when you walk away they say, mean things. Or they are the annoying co-worker that you are only polite to them because if your not, you can get fired. They aren’t your friend but they are just other humans you know. There’s a lot of them on FACEBOOK or social media. They aren’t bad people necessarily but you’re not really friends. You don’t hang out, you just have awkward conversations and you can’t wait to get away from them. They can also be called acquaintances. It’s OK if they are fake because they aren’t anything to you. It’s just like hey girl and they say hey girl and end of story.

You definitely won’t be holding their head anytime soon. As a matter of fact if you saw them puking, you might laugh. But you would get them water and kleenex if they needed. I mean they are human beings and you’re not completely void of feelings for humanity. (Also be advised that many people have too many “friends” on social media. There is no way they can comment on all 5,000 of their friends posts. So take it with a grain of salt.)

Can you say HATERS?

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Let’s just start with this. Haters are not necessarily bad people. They can be very nice and reputable people. They can be family or friends. They are really jealous and insecure. But it’s not their fault. It’s just because you are so awesome that they get jealous. They don’t want to like what you do so they ignore you. It’s so obvious they are ignoring you. Most likely they have never done anything exciting or challenging. So when they see you over here living it up and enjoying your life, they can’t stand it. Bottom line is that it doesn’t matter what haters think. It only matters what you think.

The best thing to do with haters is IGNORE THEM. Pretend they are the 2 year old throwing a tantrum because you turned off the TV. Just walk away and go about your life. Give them no attention. They aren’t worth your time or energy.

Coping With Haters a Visualization

So let’s just say you know some haters and you are upset because they are so mean to you. What you do is you take that frustration you feel towards that person and you take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. You think about how mad they make you. And imagine yourself doing a really perfect squat. Then you jump up really high and land on top of their head. Then you bounce off of their head and go up really high into the clouds with the stars. You look around and see how amazing it is. Kick back for a minute and breath and relax. Then you can relax and then say, wow that anger really went to good use. Now what’s for lunch?

Valerie is a Health Coach that lives in Northern California. She loves to eat healthy and sing and dance. She enjoys spending time with her Black Lab, Amber.

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