How’s This Pandemic Treating You?

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“I Don’t Think There’s a Feeling You’re Having That I Can’t Validate.” Janice in Terms of Endearment

No matter who you are this pandemic is having an effect on you. From the children who are suddenly at home from school, to the workers who are suddenly out of a job to the people who have contracted coronavirus, this isn’t a joke. This is a historical moment in history and whatever you’re feeling, you are entitled to feel that way.

This is a dynamic situation that is very much changing moment to moment and day to day. For those of us that are given the great privilege to shelter in place, consider yourself among the most privileged. Nobody said privileged was easy. And however you choose to deal with it is definitely up to you. On social media you can get a feeling for how people are coping. There are people who are drinking alcohol to lots of comfort eating and lots of fear is undeniable.

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I Got Accused of Spreading Panic

I didn’t publish anything on my website regarding my views because it wasn’t publish worthy. After all the leaders were saying this was a hoax. But I was posting on social media about washing hands and sounding the alarm because many of my friends were running around going to plays, using public transportation and just enjoying their life but there was the corona virus beginning to spread and I wanted my friends to know that it was coming and what they can do to protect themselves. It was a stress response for me to feel that I was doing something. I don’t regret doing this but now I feel that people are now taking this issue seriously for the most part so I’ve decided to let this go. I just didn’t want to see my friends get sick because I didn’t say something.

So How Are You Doing?

You really have to look at your behavior. I talk to many people and they act like they are so cool. Like nothing is bothering them. I’m like really? Do you realize what’s happening? Maybe they are numb. Maybe they don’t know how to cope so they just don’t feel anything. But in any case we are all entitled to our own feelings. And how other people are coping shouldn’t really be too much of your concern. Of course if your child is upset, you want to comfort them or if someone you love wants to talk about their feelings you can listen. But for the most part the only person you can really have any influence over is yourself.

What Are You Doing During This LockDown?

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Well you really do have many options. You can eat whatever you want, you can watch whatever you want on TV, you can read whatever you want and so forth. But the actions you take can have very different effects on your life. If you stress eat while watching news and drinking alcohol, you might end up gaining alot of weight and maybe become an alcoholic which can have tragic consequences.

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Or you can still be really concerned about what’s happening and maybe decide that you really can’t deal with this and you can give it over to your higher power. Just really ask God to take the burden and like a boss, he will. That’s what I chose to do because I was freaking out to be quite honest.

You’re Literally Not Alone

Everyone else in the whole world is coping with this situation. So there are many people you can talk to about this situation. If your friends and family aren’t encouraging, find a support group on line or get professional help. There are many resources available to assist you. This is an unusual time but we will get through this.

Ask Yourself What You Can Do

Since many people have to stay at home, the best thing to do is to establish a routine. Wake up around the same time (but don’t beat yourself up if you struggle with this.) Stay hydrated no matter what and start to make a list of some things you enjoy doing. Also a list of things that have to get done like laundry and dishes. Look around and see if there are any special projects that you can contemplate working on. Cleaning is an essential function as well as laundry and some sort of food preparation and or going out for food.

There’s Nothing Wrong With Prayer

Prayer is very powerful. It not only helps the people that are praying but it also helps the people you are praying for. So do me a favor and say a prayer for the your loved ones, for a vaccine and for all of the essential workers that are really taking care of us during this difficult time. If you are fortunate enough to shelter in place we really do owe them a lot of appreciation. Maybe reach out to one of your essential worker friends and family and let them know you care.

It’s OK to Have Fun

I’ve been called a party monkey back in the day. What can I say other than I like to have fun. So I choose to listen to great music and dance and sing. On March 31, 2020 it was JS Bach’s 335th Birthday. I did a video to celebrate. This is a great piece of music. This is what I do for fun but you can surely enjoy or do whatever you enjoy.

Dancing in a small space. Do you have a small space to boogie?
Valeria is on Shelter at Home in Nor Cal. She encourages everyone to stay positive, healthy and follow their dreams. There’s no time like the present to make yourself happy. No matter where we are on the beautiful planet, we are all in this together. Sending lots of positive energy to everyone. Peace is here and now manifest.

The Path of Least Resistance according to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

waterlily-pink-water-lily-water-plant-158465.jpegWell I’ve been reading The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer for quite sometime.  I bought it years ago and it was on my book shelf for at least 5 years.  Then when I finally decided to read it I was only reading one page before bed.  So I have been reading this book for at the very least 1 year.  And if a better book comes along, I will drop this one so fast.

Something about the book is difficult for me because he challenges my thinking and of course I want to keep doing things the way I am doing them.  So if I find a great book on Essential Oils, I will drop this book so fast, it won’t even know what hit it.

But anyway Dr. Wayne W. Dyer has some amazing things to say and so when something is just like “Whoa!!”  I’ve just got to blog about it.  I can’t keep it to myself.  So my service is spreading these really profound concepts that can just be life changing.

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So he talks about the Path of Least Resistance.  The Universe loves you so much and when you love yourself in the same proportion, then you are matched up with the field of intention.  You have opted for the path of no resistance.  As long as the ego is present, you’ll retain some resistance.  Take the path in which resistance is minimized.

The shape and quantity of your thoughts determine the amount of resistance.  Thoughts that generate bad feelings are resistant thoughts.  Any thought that puts a barrier between what you would like to have and your ability to attract it into your life is resistance.  Your intention is to live a tranquil life, free of stress and anxiety.  You know that stress doesn’t exist in the world, and that there only people thinking stressful thoughts.  Stressful thoughts all by themselves are a form of resistance.  You don’t want stressful, resistant thoughts to be your habitual way of reacting to your world.  By practicing thoughts of minimal resistance, you’ll train yourself to make this your natural way of reacting, and eventually you’ll become the tranquil person you desire to be, a stress-free person free of the “dis-ease” that stress brings to the body.  Stressful thoughts all by themselves are the resistance that you construct that impedes your connection to the power of intention.  

We’re in a world that advertises and promotes reasons to be anxious.  You’ve been taught that feeling good in a world where so much suffering exists is an immoral stance to take.  You’ve been convinced that choosing to feel good in bad economic times, in times of war, in times of uncertainty or death, or in the face of any catastrophe anywhere in the world is crass and inappropriate.  Since these conditions will always in in the world someplace, you believe you can’t have joy and still be a good person.  But it may not have occurred to you that in a universe based on energy and attraction, thoughts that evoke feeling bad originate in the same energy Source that attracts more of the same into your life.  These are resistant thoughts.  

Here are some examples of sentences on the PATH OF RESISTANCE, which are then changed to sentences on the path of least resistance.

I feel uneasy about the state of the economy; I’ve already lost so much money. I live in an abundant universe; I choose to think about what I have and I will be fine.  The universe will provide.

I have so many things to do that I can never get caught up. I’m at peace in this moment.  I’ll only think about the one thing I’m doing.  I will have peaceful thoughts.

I can never get ahead in this job.  I choose to appreciate what I’m doing right now, and I’ll attract an even greater opportunity.

My healthy is a huge concern.  I worry about getting old and becoming dependent and sick.  I’m healthy, and I think healthy.  I live in a universe that attracts healing, and I refuse to anticipate sickness.

My family members are causing me to feel anxious and fearful.  I choose thoughts that make me feel good, and this will help me uplift those family members in need.

I don’t deserve to feel good when so many people are suffering.  I didn’t come into a world where everyone is going to have the same identical experiences.  I’ll feel good, and by being uplifted, I’ll help eradicate some of the suffering.

I can’t be happy when the person I really care about loves another and has abandoned me.  Feeling bad won’t change this scenario.  I trust that love will return to my life if I’m in harmony with the loving Source.  I choose to feel good right now and focus on what I have, rather than what’s missing.

All stressful thoughts represent a form of resistance you wish to eradicate.  Change those thoughts by monitoring your feelings and opting for joy rather than anxiety, and you’ll access the power of intention.

Valerie back again.  Wow isn’t that just amazing.  We can change our negative scary thoughts into something positive.  My favorite is : I have so many things to do that I can never get caught up.  Man I say that a lot.  But who is keeping track that all this stuff needs to get done anyhow?  Nobody really cares.  There’s no inspector coming over anytime soon.  So I just need to calm the fuck down and just remind myself that I’m at peace in this moment.  I’ll only think about the one thing I’m doing.  I will have peaceful thoughts.

Valerie is a health and wellness coach.  She lives in Northern California with her daughter and Black Labrador Retriever puppy, Amber.  Check out their dance moves here.

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All Work and No Play Makes Jack and Jill Hella Dull and Mad

Many are familiar with the words, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.” Yes it is the entire text of Jack Nicholson’s book in “The Shining.” But besides that, it does seem to be true that all work and no play can make Jack, Jill and anyone else a dull boy or girl. All work and no play is simply a recipe for not only being dull but being mad as hell. All work and no play can definitely wear on a person and just make them tired, irritable and begin to wonder, “Why the hell am I doing all of this work anyway?” Or “Why am I working hard and everyone else is sitting on their ass?” and can lead to not caring about their work and just feeling depressed about their current situation.

How does one cope when their life seems to be filled with “All work and no play?”

1)Begin to take an inventory about how your time is actually being spent. Time can seem to vanish in the blink of an eye. If you are not paying attention to it, it can be gone before you know it. Take a notebook and write down what you are spending your time on. After you do that for a few days, you should begin to see patterns of how your time is being spent. You might be surprised to see how much time is being spent on TV and or social media.What kind of things do you want to spend your time on? How does Jack want to play? Are there things in your life that you enjoy playing with? Are you finding time for this play? Keep in mind that this play can be anything that brings you joy or that you have fun with. It can be walking your dog, working out, dancing, singing, playing tennis, sailing, vacation, video games, photography, cooking etc. What is it you can do that will kick dullness in the ass? You must know how you can enjoy your time or you can end up not spending it on things you enjoy.

3)Do you have energy vampires or time vampires in your life that are draining you? Sometimes in order to have time for yourself, you have to cut the umbilical cord from energy vampires. They can be people you care about and actually love. But if you aren’t having fun and the people around you are all having fun, it doesn’t seem fair. So it might be time to set some limits and tell people that you care about that you are not going to spend your day off driving them an hour to get their hair done in a fancy salon. Or doing all the laundry (work) while they are kicking back. It’s time to get everyone to pitch in and help out or maybe they can go without clean clothes for a while. Perhaps if the family you have pitched in, you would have some time to play. Watching your daughter mow the lawn can cause great excitement. Remember that children need to be taught how to do all things. So although it can seem like you are treating them like Cinderella by having them do house work, you are actually teaching them essential life skills. So when they grow up and get a job, if their boss needs them to vacuum or mop the floor, they will have some skill in doing this basic life skill. Also they won’t think that they are above doing certain jobs. So don’t be afraid to get your kids to do house work. Especially if they are boys. Boys need to know how to do house work too.

4)You could get help with the work around your house. Some people might think that getting help around your house is a dastardly deed, but it can actually be a life saver. This is going to come as a shock to some people that although you are amazingly smart, talented and strong however, you are not Superman, Wonder Woman, Bat Man, X-Man, Captain America. That means that everybody needs help once in a while. Don’t be afraid to get the help you need around your house so that you can have some fun. Yes it will probably cost you $$. But how much is that stress costing you? If someone offered to clean your house for $100 or you can keep the $100 and clean the whole house yourself on your day off, what would you do? If you are anything like me, it would take hours to clean the house and afterwards, I would be physically tired, drained and maybe cleaning house can be fun to some. However it’s work and it can cause feeling the dullness to start. So yes it is $100 but if that $100 is going to stop you from grabbing an ax and going ballistic like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, then it is safe to say the $100 is well worth the money spent. Think of all the $$, you are saving on attorney bills by simply hiring someone to do some work around your house. Well your house is getting cleaned, you can get a massage or just relax. Now I do understand that many people simply cannot afford $100 which is completely understandable. But many people do have $100 to spend on a house cleaning service but choose however to do the work themselves and instead be mad, tired, irritable and spend their time sharpening that proverbial ax. If you are anywhere near to wanting to sharpen an ax, it’s time to get some professional help. You deserve to chill out and not work so hard all the time.

5)You can ignore the work around the house. That seems like putting a band aid on pile of dog poop to me. But yes you can choose to ignore it. But at some point, that band aid is going to have to be pulled off and that stinky smell is going to be waiting to be picked up. But keep in mind that all of these messes do cause a certain amount of stress just looking at them. So yes you can ignore it but it is recommended to figure out a solution to the pile of dog poopwaiting to be picked up. That way you can get back to the things you enjoy doing and Shine.

How to handle Disappointment

SAD DOGHave you ever been disappointed?  I think that is an easy question because disappointment is a part of life.  Everyone has been disappointed or disillusioned about a situation.  Usually the disappointment stems from some form of expectation.  Thinking that things are going to be a certain way and when it doesn’t turn out the way that you envisioned, then it’s easy for the disappointment to creep into your mind.  Yes I say creep because disappointment can be a creep! But often time it is self created.

When disappointment creeps in it can cause various reactions. From anger, crying, lashing out or just being a raving lunatic.  Every person deals with it differently depending on their experience and coping skills.  One thing is for sure that it’s part of life and we all have to deal with it.  If one can do it in a positive manner, that would be the best outcome.

The following would probably be healthy ways to deal with it:

  1. Disappointment happens and I’ll say that again, disappointment happens.  It’s not anybody’s fault although somebody could have contributed to it.  But in either case, my dear you must accept this disappointment in order to get on with your life.  It happens to EVERYONE.  You don’t have the market on disappointment.  It’s not punishment for a sin you committed it’s just life.
  2. Call a really good friend and tell them what happened.  You’ll get the support and encouragement you need (hopefully.)  Just make sure you don’t call them only when you have a problem otherwise, they might start to avoid you like the plague.
  3. Journal or write about what happened.  You can either write every bloody detail or simply stick to “nothing but the facts m’am.”  You will have a better understanding of the situation.  Then if you want to burn that paper up when you’re really ready to release it.
  4. Know that depending on the situation you may have to take action.  It could mean distancing yourself from someone, blocking someone on your phone, writing a letter, boycotting an organization etc.  But taking action can be very healing and put you back in the drivers seat.
  5. Consult a professional. Talking to a professional can give you clarity about your choices and options and what you can do.  Just know they won’t tell you what to do but they will get you thinking in the right direction.

Regardless of what actions you take, just know that you are in control of whatever actions you choose to take and it’s your decision.  Make your choices and remember that in most cases, YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING.  So do what’s right for you and get on with your amazing life.