How To Get Over a Breakup

Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com

Have you ever had to get over a broken heart from a relationship? It can be one of the most painful things to endure. It’s like your heart gets ripped out of your body and you’re supposed to walk around like everything is normal on the outside. But on the inside you’re so sad, depressed and you can also be filled with feelings of anger and rage depending on the circumstances of the break up. There can also be real serious issues such as alimony, child support and loss of income. But let’s just pretend it’s just a normal break up. Also assume that there are no legal consequences and you won’t be in financial turmoil because that’s just too much to deal with in a single blog post.

Establish a Support

Photo by Wendy Wei on Pexels.com

It’s time to call your network of support. Friends, family, psychological support and anyone else you trust to tell your story. Just be honest about what happened. You have 24 hours to create this network because you don’t want to just keep talking about this issue for weeks which can turn into years. You can have more than 24 hours to set this up but the whole point is that you don’t want to get over this relationship. The longer you continue to discuss it and rehash the hash, the longer it will continue. Tell your network, “I need support getting over this relationship. Can you help me do this?” 9 times out of 10 they will say, “Yes, I’ve got your back. What can I do to help you.” You need emotional support only. This isn’t a smear campaign and you don’t have to share every gory detail. Just say you need support getting over this relationship and leave it at that. Of course you can tell the whole story but just know the more you continue to discuss it, the more you are breathing life into a dead relationship.

There are Different Levels of BreakUP

Photo by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.com

Perhaps you need to develop a relationship with yourself instead of giving everything to a relationship. Perhaps you want to keep the lines of communication open because there’s a possibility you might get back together. Perhaps you just need to establish firm boundaries within the relationship. So we’ll start out there and then go to the point where you are literally DONE with the relationship. NO WAY will you go back!!

Stage 1 (Keeping Options Open)

Now perhaps your partner is ignoring you and not giving you the time of day. You still love eachother but it’s not working for you. You spend your time obsessing about when you will hear from them and crying because they don’t text you back like they used to. Something is wrong and you don’t know what to do. What do you do?

Answer: Call your network and tell them you need support. You must decide what it is that you want for yourself. So what do you want? Tell your partner in an I statement. “I have decided to start taking care of my health. I am going to start walking and eating more healthy.” As an example. If they don’t respond back that’s their choice but you will still allow them to remain in your life for 30 days. After you send that final text give them 30 days to respond. If they don’t respond within 30 days BLOCK THEM on your phone. If they want to get a hold of you, they can send you an email. Now during this 30 days you will need to start new habits. Perhaps it’s a great time to start a new hobby or maybe just start to clean up your place. Stay busy. Read books, watch movies, connect with friends but under no circumstances are you to contact them. After the 30 days you will have more clarity about how you want to move forward.

Photo by Jameson Mallari Atenta on Pexels.com

My Heart is Broken but I Cannot Stay

If you are done and ready to move on you will need your network. You will need a journal and perhaps professional help. You are going to have to go 30 days with no contact from this individual. It’s most recommended that you block them from your phone and cut off all communication. You will miss them. You will cry. You will want to call them to tell them something funny. During those times that you want to contact them, pull out the journal and write down your feelings. Call someone from your network and tell them how you’re doing. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, contact your Dr.

It’s during times like this that singing and dancing can really help you to feel better. You have to get your endorphins going to help you feel better. Avoid alcohol and drugs because they don’t really help on the long run. They are just a big nasty band aid that is only going to make you feel worse later. Later you are sad and hungover. It’s better to just feel your feelings and then the next day you will feel better day by day. Again emphasis on cardio. Start easy and try to do something you enjoy. Listen to upbeat happy music. Watch a happy movie!! It will get better baby but one thing is for sure, you won’t be putting up with treatment that is unbecoming of you.

Valeria not caring if she ever hears from you again. Play games she said. You can’t play a player. She’s a Health and Wellness Coach in Northern California. She encourages everyone to follow their dreams and passions.

A Grateful Heart is a Happy Heart

Photo by Ella Olsson on Pexels.com

At this time of you gratitude is in the allegedly in the air. It is on everyone’s mind as they make Thanksgiving plans. But, have you ever given anyone a gift and never heard anything back? Does it make you want to rush out and get them another gift to throw into the black hole of disregard? Or when you give a gift and you get a big smile with a hug and a big “Thank You I appreciate that so much!! It was very thoughtful and kind of you.” Then they follow up with a text, email or a card to again say thank you. Which one of those people do you think is happy?

Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels.com

It’s not that everyone has to be happy or even that you have to receive gratitude but it works the same way with the Universe and with God. You see when you show gratitude what happens is that you change your vibration into a positive mindset. Things may not be perfect. You can actually be going through a very difficult time but still show appreciation for things.

How Does it Work?

I believe in whatever you put out comes back to you. And gratitude has been proven to shift your energy from negative to positive in the blink of an eye. You kind of have to experiment but it’s not going to just happen overnight. You have to PRACTICE it over and over and then it just becomes a positive way of viewing things.

How do you do it? Well you simply have to take a deep breath in and say silently to yourself, “I am grateful for my breath.” Then you start to play a little game I like to call, “What Gives Me Gratitude” It’s easy to play. You just silently repeat things to yourself that you are grateful for. It can be anything material or spiritual. It can be anything in, on or about your body and expanding out into infinity.

Every night before I go to bed I write down 5 things I am grateful for. I try to make it different things because who wants to be grateful for the same things over and over. After all variety is the spice of life.

Photo by Garry Mordor on Pexels.com

It goes something like this. “I am grateful for my good health.” “I am grateful for my feet.” I am grateful for my fingers.” “I am grateful for books.” “I am grateful I have food to eat.” I am grateful for another day to be alive.” “I am grateful for freedom of speech.” “I am grateful for my family.” “I am grateful for my ancestors.” “I am grateful for healing.” “I am grateful for God.” “I am grateful for peace on earth.” “I am grateful for love.” “I am grateful for my family.” As you can see this can go on for quite a while. But I think you get the general idea.

So as you begin to be thankful, you begin to shift into a more positive mindset. You start to be a happier person in general and you begin to realize how very fortunate you really are. It really is a gift you give yourself and the people around you will be glad because you will just be happier in general.

Valeria is a Health and Wellness Coach in Northern California. She has a passion for dancing and singing. She encourages everyone to follow their dreams.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Meet Dancer Annamária Benkó-Fóthy

Name

Annamária Benkó-Fóthy

What City is home?

Budapest, Hungary

What type of dance do you do?

Tribal Fusion Bellydance

Who’s your favorite dancer?

I have a lots of. Some of them are Rachel Brice, Zoe Jakes, Illan Riviére, Tjarda van Straten and Pinny Orchidaceae.

What’s your dream?

I totally acknowledge who I am now and I enjoy every moment of it. That is why I feel I already live my dream. I love so I am loved. I accept so I am accepted.

What’s your favorite song?

I don't have a favourite song. Usually I try to find beauty in every style.

What’s one wish you hope comes true?

There will be no indifference and lethargy in our world - only sincerity and understanding.

What is your opinion on wellness?

We should listen to our body and this way we will understand what is good to our body and soul. I think in this way we all get closer to our inner peace. Wellness could be a fantastic tool for this.

Fantasy Girl on Rebounder

Have you heard this song, Fantasy Girl by Johnny O and Mickey Garcia? It is such a serious jam!! In this video, Valeria Star rebounds to this song. Being on a rebounder is SOOOOOOOOOO beneficial for your health. Nasa declared it the best exercise on the planet.

Valeria is demonstrating how she uses the rebounder, although she recommends people use it to their own level and you might want to hold on to something. As you will see there is one part where she does fall off it. But she doesn’t get injured. It’s just easy to bounce off of it if your not careful.

If you can make it to the 6 minutes on the video, Valeria demonstrates a grand twisting plie in 6th position. She was pretty proud of herself on that move.

Warning this video will probably give you energy!!

Photo by Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

Thanks for watching and following my Blog. It’s with great hope that you will have a nice day and eat some fruits and vegetables for health and wellness.

Valeria is a Health and Wellness Coach in Nor Cal.

Meet Dancer Shilly Nakedmoon

IMG_4660.jpg

Name

Shilly Nakedmoon

What City is home?

Falmouth, Cornwall, UK

What type of dance do you do?

I teach Tribal Fusion Belly Dance and I also can't live without conscious dance practices like 5 rhythms and movement medicine. My dance journey has been a bit of an adventure, from getting kicked out of ballet school for breakdancing when I was young to performing burlesque and erotic striptease!

Who’s your favorite dancer?

Kazuo Ohno is one of the creators of Japanese Butoh Dance. He was very spiritual about his dance and I feel so connected with him, I always think of him as a beautiful flower.

What’s your dream?

To own my own vegan cafe, too run a ritual dance theatre company and for humans to live in harmony with all life on planet earth.

What’s your favorite song?

I giorni by Ludovico Einaudi

What’s one wish you hope comes true?

That humans come together in love to save the planet and it's creatures from extinction.

What is your opinion on wellness?

Everyone is different, so find what makes you feel good and is also kind to the planet and do that! Looking after the planet and your body is the same thing essentially, the earth is our mother after all! So every choice we make that is kind to our body is also being kind to Mother Earth.

Four Years Progress in Voice

In 2015 Valeria sings I’m Not That Girl from Wicked

Valeria did not intend to sing at all. She had signed up her daughter for voice lessons with Alina’s Music Studio but in 2014, her daughter had a change of heart and did not want to continue with her lessons. Since Valeria had already paid, she decided to take the classes in her daughter’s place. After a month she decided to stick with it even though it was difficult and painful at times to hear the sounds that would come out of her mouth. There are many things going on when someone sings and often times it’s nerves and also just allowing the body to get used to breathing and letting the sound to flow out of your body. It’s a strange process which is recommended for everyone.

In 2017 Valeria sings Time and Tide by Basia

Don’t ask why but for some reason after singing I’m Not That Girl, Valeria decided to take a break only to resume again in 2017. It was very much like starting over again. It’s not recommended to take a break from singing EVER!! Valeria sang this song at her 50th Birthday Party. She prepared six months for performance and even worked with a dance teacher on choreography.

This was one fun night!! There’s dancing in this one too.

Merry Christmas Darling in 2017

This is such a great song!!!!!!!!!!!!! Carpenter’s are amazing and this was a great song to learn and sing. Once you learn how to sing a song, it pretty much gets tattooed on your brain. That’s not scientific but you can pretty much sing it by memory. Although sometimes the words can get jumbled up and if you ever forget it, it won’t be for long because your new mission will be to learn what you forgot.

I hope Karen Carpenter listens to this from Heaven and knows how much she’s loved.

Shatter Me in 2018

Valeria was asked how she picked this song and said, “I went on a road trip and listened to this song over and over and I knew I had to learn it. I was lucky to have a violinist accompany me although she did not want to be on camera. This was a challenging song and singing with the violinist live was very difficult. Imagine singing with someone banging a sledge hammer. That’s what it felt like at first but then you learn how to tune it out. I still love this song although it was a challenging piece in my opinion.”

Silent Night 2018

It’s Christmas time so who doesn’t love a traditional Christmas song?

I wish everyone a Silent Night EVERYNIGHT!!!

Singing in French Can Be Different

In 2018 Valeria sang Les Feuilles Mortes/ Autumn Leaves. It’s a very beautiful song!! It’s about a love you once had that has gone away. Valeria thought about her brother who passed away and broke down towards the end of the song. But according to her music teacher, Alina, it’s called passion. Valeria says, “This was a beautiful song to learn and I’m glad i sang it. I also had an amazing pianist to accompany me. Thank you Camille!! XOXO.”

This is a beautiful song.

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

The only reason this is being published is to remind everyone to stay humble and also realize that the things you sing can have a profound effect on your mood. This song was starting to make Valeria way too sad. Also if you consider that her father had a stroke and is not doing so well. Valeria stated, “It makes me very sad to sing this song. It was also very high and my voice wasn’t feeling it. We also only worked on this song for about a month and then recorded it which is not nearly enough time to really master. But tis is what tis is. PS MY TEACHER WANTED TO RE-RECORD BUT I WAS DONE WITH THIS SONG.”

Ouch this can be painful to hear. It’s too high!!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious gave me back my joy

After Phantom Of the Opera, she really needed something happy. This song is very fast, tongue twisting and very lively. Valeria indicated “It’s not a perfect performance. We worked on this for about a month. It was fun to sing and I forever know how to spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” Want to know why? Watch video.

Will You Consider Sharing Your Gifts?

Why is Valeria even doing these videos? She decided that she wanted to have this recorded for her future. One day when she is old she can look back and reminisce about these days. Also her father was a musician and unfortunately, there is no video of his amazing performances. Valeria doesn’t want that to happen to her. Also she encourages everyone to share their gifts. Not perfect? Who is?

Valeria is a Health and Wellness Coach living in Nor Cal. She encourages everyone to follow their dreams. Life goes fast. May as well live boldly.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, A Challenging Vocal Arrangement

In 2019 I got caught in a vortex of singing sad songs. From January to June 2019 it was Autumn Leaves which as you may know is a song about lost love. It’s a beautiful song but I had a big of a melt down in my performance but hey, life goes on.

Then I went to Oregon and picked up some music from Phantom of the Opera. My voice teacher recommended, Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. A song about a woman’s dead father and how she wished he was still here. Another song that was a bit of a downer. Some of the lyrics include: “Too many years fighting back tears, why can’t the past just die.” And “No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say goodbye.” Another tear jerker of a song. I did record it but the music was a little too high for my range and my teacher wanted to adjust it and re-record. I said, no thanks. I never want to sing that song again.

This song will make anyone sad.

Then my teacher suggested, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and I said OK. So we started to work on it. I had been feeling a little tired lately so I stopped doing scheduled cardio. I kind of wanted to see what it felt like to just have my daily living activities be my cardio. So I backed off on the cardio. I’m not going to say that was a good idea. But hey I can’t go back now. Life is all an experiment anyway. Also I’m not going to say my water intake was real good either. OK that’s all I’m going to say about that. I wish I was perfect but I’m not. I’m human and LIVE AND LEARN BABY!!

So I sang the song and it’s allegro which means very fast. It’s also a tongue twister in some parts and it has some advanced vocal arrangements. I was able to finish the song but it was not perfect. OK what can I say other than I know I need to breathe more and drink more warm beverages.

So here I am singing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. How do I know how to spell the song without looking it up? Well if you listen to the song you will hear me spell it out VERY FAST.

I wish everyone a lot of courage and bravery to do whatever it is you want. I’ve been told that I have “Big Balls” multiple times. By my mom’s friend, Tony and by my friend, Ferrah. So I guess it’s true. I’m going ahead and saying it’s not perfect so you will know but that doesn’t mean I need to hear negative comments. It’s like, I can say it, but you can’t sort of thing. But as far as effort goes, I get an A PLUS.

I wish you a Happy November. Have fun!! Do what you want. Relax and breathe. If you need help, ask for it. You deserve whatever you want. But you gotta go for it.

Bye for now Sweetie Pie.

Valeria is a Health and Wellness Coach in Northern California. She’s sharing her journey and dreams and encourages everyone to do the same. May as well have fun with the time we’re here.

Meet Belly Dancer Vanessa Montoya

Photo original.jpg

I had the opportunity to meet Vanessa where I meet many people now a days on Facebook. She’s a wonderful dancer and you can learn more about her exciting offerings on her website www.creativesourcemovement.com.

Here’s a video of Vanessa doing a wonderful performance.

Photo by Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

Thank you Vanessa for sharing your passion for life with the world. Such a beautiful soul.

Name
Vanessa Montoya
What City is home?
Lubbock/Austin
What type of dance do you do?
Bellydance, Modern, and (currently studying) Persian Dance. I also teach Yoga.
Who’s your favorite dancer?
Isadora Duncan
What’s your dream?
My dream is to work with others in harmonizing the Body, Mind, and Spirit through movement, both physical and energetic. I hope to foster a sense of connection, joy, and awareness in both my own life and in the lives of the people I work with.
What’s your favorite song?
"Smile" by Charlie Chaplin
What’s one wish you hope comes true?
I send wishes and prayers that Calilfornia finds some relief from these fires soon. LA was my home for fifteen years. My heart breaks to see so much devastation in the area.
What is your opinion on wellness?
I believe that at the core of wellness, one can find the seeds of joy, gratitude, and love beginning to take root. I find the body and mind respond to the harmony that these emotions bring and that wellness is an extension of finding that sense of peace within.

Meet Nor Cal Dancer, Valeria Star

An Interview with a Dancer

What kind of dance do you do?

I enjoy many types of dance. I enjoy ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, belly, salsa, hip hop and ballroom. Currently I am studying ballet although I am going through the rehabilitation process so all dancing must be done with good form so as to not become injured. And I must make sure to address any injuries right away so they will get better. So that means I am not able to dance as often as I like.

Where is home for you?

Stockton, CA, where else

How Long Have You Been Dancing

I believe that we started dancing in the womb since we were swimming in utero. But when I was 8, my mother gave me tights and leotard for my birthday and I was horrified. I didn’t want to go to ballet but ended up loving it after only 1 class. That was 44 years ago. But I had big gaps in my dance life because of work.

What is your favorite song right now?

I believe you can have infinite favorite songs. But I did a dance to one of my favorite songs called Patience by M. Mendi. It was produced by Outrecords.com. It’s a really chill song that is sure to have you feeling like your riding on clouds. I did the video to hopefully inspire Patience in the world. I think we all need to be really patient with everyone which includes ourselves. The more we can relax, we can begin to have more positive social interactions and actually help other people feel our calmness.

What Dancer Do you Admire?

That is another really hard question!! I love so many!! But if I can only pick one it would be Misty Copeland. I read both of her books and I know her story of courage and perserverance. She had a very difficult home life and despite all of that she was able to succeed. Also she’s just so strong and has the most amazing body. I can only dream to have her body one day. But I do have her book Ballet Body so hey anything is possible.

What Is Your One Wish that You Hope Comes True?

More than anything I want there to be world peace. What that means to me is that we don’t have anymore wars, everyone is fed, healthy and has food and jobs. The economies are all thriving and our Mother Earth is Healthy and clean. And there are a lot of trees. I love trees so much that I started a fundraiser for trees and it’s with a NonProfit called Plant One Tree. Super excited. To date, I’ve raised enough for over 90 trees. To Plant trees for $1/tree click here.

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

What does wellness mean to you?

Wellness means that you are basically healthy and doing well. You have housing, food, clothing along with financial income or support and you are calm, physically strong, flexible and in a positive mindset. Also your finances are in order and you love and respect yourself. You also eat lots of fruits, vegetables and drink lots of water and take yoga. It’s really important to take care of yourself because who wants someone else to take care of them? They won’t do the same job you would. Nobody will ever take better care of you then yourself. Just drink a cup of tea and think about scheduling that appointment for a massage.

Final Words on Dance

Just do it and do it often. You may think you are no good and have no talent but if you allow your body just to start moving to the rhythm of the music, you will find a cool flow. You start to have fun and it’s so good for your body, brain and spirit. I feel it can get you out of a bad mood in no time. You can take classes if you like but nothing wrong with just shaking that bootie however you want. I hope you dance and often.