How To Get Over a Breakup

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Have you ever had to get over a broken heart from a relationship? It can be one of the most painful things to endure. It’s like your heart gets ripped out of your body and you’re supposed to walk around like everything is normal on the outside. But on the inside you’re so sad, depressed and you can also be filled with feelings of anger and rage depending on the circumstances of the break up. There can also be real serious issues such as alimony, child support and loss of income. But let’s just pretend it’s just a normal break up. Also assume that there are no legal consequences and you won’t be in financial turmoil because that’s just too much to deal with in a single blog post.

Establish a Support

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It’s time to call your network of support. Friends, family, psychological support and anyone else you trust to tell your story. Just be honest about what happened. You have 24 hours to create this network because you don’t want to just keep talking about this issue for weeks which can turn into years. You can have more than 24 hours to set this up but the whole point is that you don’t want to get over this relationship. The longer you continue to discuss it and rehash the hash, the longer it will continue. Tell your network, “I need support getting over this relationship. Can you help me do this?” 9 times out of 10 they will say, “Yes, I’ve got your back. What can I do to help you.” You need emotional support only. This isn’t a smear campaign and you don’t have to share every gory detail. Just say you need support getting over this relationship and leave it at that. Of course you can tell the whole story but just know the more you continue to discuss it, the more you are breathing life into a dead relationship.

There are Different Levels of BreakUP

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Perhaps you need to develop a relationship with yourself instead of giving everything to a relationship. Perhaps you want to keep the lines of communication open because there’s a possibility you might get back together. Perhaps you just need to establish firm boundaries within the relationship. So we’ll start out there and then go to the point where you are literally DONE with the relationship. NO WAY will you go back!!

Stage 1 (Keeping Options Open)

Now perhaps your partner is ignoring you and not giving you the time of day. You still love eachother but it’s not working for you. You spend your time obsessing about when you will hear from them and crying because they don’t text you back like they used to. Something is wrong and you don’t know what to do. What do you do?

Answer: Call your network and tell them you need support. You must decide what it is that you want for yourself. So what do you want? Tell your partner in an I statement. “I have decided to start taking care of my health. I am going to start walking and eating more healthy.” As an example. If they don’t respond back that’s their choice but you will still allow them to remain in your life for 30 days. After you send that final text give them 30 days to respond. If they don’t respond within 30 days BLOCK THEM on your phone. If they want to get a hold of you, they can send you an email. Now during this 30 days you will need to start new habits. Perhaps it’s a great time to start a new hobby or maybe just start to clean up your place. Stay busy. Read books, watch movies, connect with friends but under no circumstances are you to contact them. After the 30 days you will have more clarity about how you want to move forward.

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My Heart is Broken but I Cannot Stay

If you are done and ready to move on you will need your network. You will need a journal and perhaps professional help. You are going to have to go 30 days with no contact from this individual. It’s most recommended that you block them from your phone and cut off all communication. You will miss them. You will cry. You will want to call them to tell them something funny. During those times that you want to contact them, pull out the journal and write down your feelings. Call someone from your network and tell them how you’re doing. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, contact your Dr.

It’s during times like this that singing and dancing can really help you to feel better. You have to get your endorphins going to help you feel better. Avoid alcohol and drugs because they don’t really help on the long run. They are just a big nasty band aid that is only going to make you feel worse later. Later you are sad and hungover. It’s better to just feel your feelings and then the next day you will feel better day by day. Again emphasis on cardio. Start easy and try to do something you enjoy. Listen to upbeat happy music. Watch a happy movie!! It will get better baby but one thing is for sure, you won’t be putting up with treatment that is unbecoming of you.

Valeria not caring if she ever hears from you again. Play games she said. You can’t play a player. She’s a Health and Wellness Coach in Northern California. She encourages everyone to follow their dreams and passions.

Tummy Time Helps Strengthen Back

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Most mother’s know what tummy time is.  It’s when your child is a baby and you put them on their tummy to strengthen their core.  That’s where they eventually get the strength to roll over and crawl.  It’s a very important part of child development. As you know they have to get used to carrying that really large head.  So they lay on their tummy and lift their chest.  They do many poses that are in yoga and pilates.

I am not shy about my neck and shoulder pain.  It comes and goes.  I started to think about child development and how after years of a sedentary job my back had become weak and no amount of massages was going to help it.  So I started to think maybe it was time for me to try some tummy time.

As a Yoga Instructor there are many poses that focus on strengthening your back. Sphynx, Cobra, Up-Dog, Bow and the list goes on.  Pilates also has many as well.  So I would do the Asanas and hold the poses for a breath or two but then move on.

I googled a YouTube Video about Tummy Time and they said that babies need to work up to 15 minutes per day.  But actually what the lady said was to hold Sphynx pose for 15 minutes.  Now I’m not sure if that’s accurate because that sounds like a long time to me.  But I decided to do Sphinx pose for 5 minutes.

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This picture can also be modified to where you keep your chin down.  If you feel any pain back off.  You also want to make sure to engage your abdominal muscles and your glutes.  It’s not easy but you can do it.  Consult a yoga instructor or physical therapist if you need help.

I would come out of it if I would feel any pain.  The morning after I did this, I kid you not.  When I woke up in the morning, I did not feel any pain or stiffness.  I felt really strong.  I told a friend about this and he tried it and said he felt better the next day too.  Now keep in mind that you can modify this pose as well.  There’s is also baby cobra which is a great place to start too.

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Could tummy time be the answer to back pain?  I also did rolling from back to tummy, happy baby, just kind of rolling around the floor and it felt amazing.  Aim for two or three times a day, for three to five minutes at a time to start, and progress from there.

If it’s good enough for a baby, it’s good enough for you baby.  Take care of yourself because we need you baby!!

Valerie is a health and wellness Coach and a Yoga Instructor.  She’s healing herself after a 26 year career and sharing her wisdom with the world.  To read about another simple healthy living tip about silence click here.

VAL BELLY DANCING

It’s Time to Start Taking Climate Change Seriously

sky-earth-galaxy-universe.jpgWake up dear one.  It’s time to wake up and get going.  You see our planet is a little bit sick.  It has too much plastic and the ice caps are beginning to melt.  I will be OK.  Most people reading this will be OK.  But our grandchildren are really screwed.

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They will have a really hot planet to deal with.  And it’s not fair because they are not the ones who created the mess in the first place.  It came about through the industrial revolution.  And also not really thinking about the long term effects of say plastic.  The fact that plastic does not break down.  It just gets broken down into smaller and smaller pieces.  It turns into micro plastic and the fish consume it  So when you eat fish, you are actually eating plastic too.

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It’s not a happy thought.  I am so sorry to be writing this.  I wish I did not have to write about this issue.  But we simply must get all hands on deck and get serious about what exactly is going on.

You may not know but China is not taking the world’s plastic anymore.  So where is all of the wonderful plastic going to end up?  I have no idea.  But I am really concerned about it.  I am going to ask you to please give up the big 4.  Plastic bags, disposable coffee containers, plastic water bottles and straws.  That’s not too hard, is it?

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Just think you can be a super hero just by drinking out of that really cool looking stainless steel water bottle.  “Hey hottie, can I have a drink because looking at you is making me hot.”  That’s what all the hotties are going to be saying to you.  Or when you pull out that reusable bag.  Oh don’t even get me started on that.  Basically it means you care.  And you have a good heart.

So do a favor for me and all of the fish, all of the marine life, the coral reef, the polar bears, the ice caps, the Swiss Alps and all of the people that are having their life impacted by climate change and babies that are being born today, please ban the Big 4.  You can do it!!  And we can clean up our planet.  And it’s all because of you Earth Angel.  Trust me I am singing that song to you right now.    And I think if you do those 4 things, you are going to start to develop a lot of good karma and good things will continue to come to you.  You just have to ask for it and also recognize the good things.  Pretty easy don’t you think?

Valerie is a Health and Wellness Coach, Yoga Instructor, Dancer, Singer, mom to a teenage daughter and her puppy.  She is convinced that by healing the planet, you will heal yourself and visa versa.  Check her out following her dreams.  Also subscribe to her channel so you don’t miss a thing.